Eve Grossman – Bukowski & her family
Piedmont, California
I’m 41 years old and live in Piedmont California. I am married with two amazing children: 5-year-old twins Eliana & Ariel.
I am the head of governmental affairs for the Port of Oakland and Oakland International Airport. I also am a political junkie, an adoring mother, a kitchen-phobic wife and an ardent supporter of getting information about colon cancer out to everyone who will listen to me.
I have to get that information out for a reason above and beyond my own experience with colon cancer. For even though the cancer diagnosis stunned my loved ones, even though “You’re too young!” and “There’s no cancer in your family!” was the common refrain, I know now that colon cancer, like many cancers, strikes regardless of age or genetic predisposition.
This all began last winter when I went to work at the famous Iowa Caucus. On the plane ride to Des Moines I suddenly experienced a tremendous amount of pain. It was so unexpected and so agonizing that I went to the hospital immediately upon arrival. After five trips to the ER in one week, and after being told repeatedly “you’re just constipated,” the physicians finally did a series of tests ending in a flexible sigmoidoscopy. The doctors found a mass that needed to be removed immediately, and told me they had to operate then and there. As I headed under the knife, my husband caught the next flight to Des Moines.
The amazing surgeon Dr. Soren Kraemer did the surgery in such a way that I was able to avoid a colostomy. For that, I will be forever grateful. During surgery, I had a foot of my colon removed, as well as 21 lymph nodes and my appendix. The physicians diagnosed me with Stage III colon cancer.
My Iowan oncologist, Dr. Morton, contacted my soon-to-be oncologist from Stanford and requested that he treat me. I returned to the Bay Area and began my six-month chemo regimen of oxiliplatin and xeloda under the guidance of Dr. George Fisher of Stanford Cancer Center (who treats Patrick Swayze). I had the oxiliplatin every couple of weeks and took xeloda every morning and night – one week on, one week off. During my seventh round of oxiliplatin, I had an allergic reaction during the infusion which sent me into shock. Needless to say, that was my last round of oxiliplatin.
I continued to work at my job for the first four months. I thought that staying home would only make me feel worse. And then I had a great conversation with a colon cancer survivor who talked me into ending the insanity. He convinced me to take a leave of absence and enjoy life, my children and my friends. That was the best advice that anyone could have given me.
As for being bored or sitting around feeling sorry for myself – it was nothing like that. It is amazing all of the things that are out there to do when you don’t have to work during the day. I had a joyous summer with my daughters and let the stress of the office dissipate.
I started a blog called www.updateeve.blogspot.com. It allowed me to express my innermost thoughts and helped others understand what I was experiencing. It was a source of great comfort for me. Furthermore, each time I posted to my blog, I received dozens of e-mails from people who were reading it, encouraging me to keep fighting the fight.
My colon cancer brought my entire personal community together. It was an incredible experience to have friends, family and even strangers care so deeply. It was heartwarming to have people around the world, from multiple religions, saying prayers on my behalf. While I would not wish this experience on anyone, it was a time in my life that I’ll never forget. And I continually count my blessings for the following:
- For my treatment, I had a doctor friend researching chemo options while other doctors helped guide me toward the best chemo protocol.
- For my family, I had a “meals” team, which brought food almost every night to my home.
- For my mental health, I had a cadre of friends who went to doctors’ appointments and alternative medicine appointments with me.
- For my concerned friends, I had a tech-savvy colleague who helped set up my blogwww.updateeve.blogspot.com (which was also a forum for raising thousands of dollars for colon cancer research).
- For the rest of the world, I had a friend who started a movement to raise funds for cancer using Fathers’ Day as a hook.
My advice to others who live through a similar experience would be to go to an acupuncturist. Mine has been amazing. Ask around for a renowned acupuncturist who has experience with treating cancer patients. My chemo was so much easier than others (from what I’ve heard) because my acupuncturist was able to move the chemo through my liver and not allow toxicity to build up.
So now I am working on releasing my fear. It is just so damn scary to have looked down the barrel at the Big C, wondering if I’ll be there for my children when they graduate from kindergarten, from junior high, from high school. While their sweet presence in my life has given me the gumption to fight, fear is not a healthy emotion. When the feeling of fear sweeps over me, I work diligently not to allow myself to dwell on it.
This past year was quite a rollercoaster ride. Having cancer truly changed me. You learn so much about yourself and those around you. Friendships become deeper, love becomes stronger and life becomes much more meaningful.
The challenges I face today are a direct result of my emotional growth during my treatment. After I was diagnosed I started letting the petty things go and became aware of life’s deeper priorities. Yet, as time has gone by, I’m getting drawn back into concerns that really aren’t that important. I must remind myself that, trite as the phrase may be, all that really matters is your health and family.
I finished chemotherapy in July of 2008. It is now March of 2009 and most of the neuropathy has gone. However, I am hopeful that just a little of it will remain in my fingertips for the rest of my life as a constant reminder to me of all that I have been through. It keeps me focused on what truly matters.