Faces of Blue: Kurt Huntzberry

Life was normal with very few doctors visits. That all changed when I turned 40. I woke up on my birthday with a strange feeling in my stomach. I chalked it up as being constipated since I had very little experience with it before. As the day progressed, my stomach got no better and no worse. By the next morning, I had gone to the bathroom several times, but I had no change. By lunchtime, the strange feeling in my abdomen turned to excruciating pain. I can only describe it now as what I would imagine getting stabbed in the stomach would feel like. I left work and picked up some gas medicine, but it did nothing to relieve my pain. I called my primary physician, but they couldn’t fit me in. They suggested I go to the ER if the pain continued.

I never miss my son’s basketball games, but this night I just couldn’t make it; the pain was too much at this point. I decided to lie down after dinner to see if the pain would dissipate. When my family came home that evening, I made the decision to go to the ER to get checked further.

A few years back, our family suffered a tremendous loss when my sister-in-law, Darlene, passed away from stage IV colon cancer. Unfortunately, she made the decision to hide her symptoms from her family. It wasn’t until she was unable to walk that her family was aware of her situation. They immediately rushed her to the ER where she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She valiantly fought this terrible disease and almost a year later, she was in remission. Her cancer returned a few months after we received the amazing news. Dar lost her battle shortly after. Her loss was a valuable lesson to all that knew her. Get checked out when something isn’t right. This was going through my mind when I was in pain that evening, “I need to get checked to make sure I am here for my family.” I really wasn’t too concerned at this point though, and was thinking it would just be kidney stones as the pain was in my lower abdomen and could be felt in my right lower back, too.

At the ER, they gave me some strong ibuprofen that had no effect on the pain. They told me this was something that would help if it were kidney stones. They completed a CT scan and I was provided with odd information. Per the doctor, the radiologist found no kidney stones but a possible mass on my left side colon. This made no sense to me since the pain was clearly on the right side. During the scan, they also found out that I only have one kidney. Apparently, I was born with just the right kidney. The doctor diagnosed me with colitis and wrote me a prescription for some very strong antibiotics. He also suggested that I contact my primary physician to see what they recommend I do next as I may need to see a gastroenterologist.

The following day, I contacted my physician and she suggested I see a local GI for further diagnosis. A few days later, my pain was gone but I decided to visit the GI anyway. He gave us some additional odd information. The initial radiologist saw something in my right colon, not my left. This contradicted with what I was told at the ER. Two additional radiologists looked at the scan and found nothing. The doctor felt we might never know the cause of the pain since it was gone, but he didn’t think it was colitis. He recommended a second CT scan using barium to determine if there was something in my colon or not. A few years prior, I would have walked out of that office and not looked back, however, I learned from Dar and wasn’t willing to take a chance. I immediately scheduled the second CT scan. They fit me in the following week. I received a call from the GI doctor at 9 p.m. the evening of the scan. Before answering the phone, I knew it wouldn’t be a good call. He told me they found a large mass in my right colon and that I needed to schedule a colonoscopy. At this point, the reality had not set in. I was in a bit of denial that this was not something to be concerned with, but I had to take it seriously enough to continue with testing.

I spent July 4th doing my prep for the colonoscopy. For those of you out there that are concerned with someone probing your butt for a colonoscopy, get over it. The real fun is in the prep. Don’t make plans to leave your house, or bathroom for that matter, for the next 12+ hours. When it hits, it hits!

I received the worst news of my life when I woke up after the colonoscopy, “You have a large mass and it is colon cancer.” I recall lying in bed and just crying. To me, this was a death sentence. After all, I only knew of Dar’s story and how it ended. My mom was with me at the hospital and took me home. I don’t recall much more other than calling my wife, Dee, at work to meet me at home.

How do you tell someone news like this? How can I break her heart like this? What did I do in my life to deserve this to happen to me? I’m not ashamed to admit the emotional roller coaster I was on. It was real and doesn’t make me less of a man for feeling this way. When my wife got home, I broke the news to her. We just sat and cried there on the couch holding each other. I felt like I just ruined her life and was beyond guilty for doing this. We made the decision to keep the news from our two kids until we knew more.

We immediately scheduled an appointment with a surgeon that was recommended by my GI doctor. We arrived to hear some good news. The doctor disclosed that you couldn’t tell by looking at a mass if it is cancerous or not. This should be based on the pathology results. These came back precancerous. Awesome news; I’m not going to die! We scheduled the surgery and left the office.

I went back to work and decided to put a stop to this roller coaster ride and take some control back. Everything was happening so fast that I wanted to be sure we were making the right call to get the surgery. What if they are wrong? What if it is cancer? What if there are alternatives to cutting me open? I talked to my wife and we agreed to get a second opinion. I reached out to Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia. Thirty-some years ago, my mom was treated there for breast cancer and she’s still alive, so I felt like this was a wise choice on our part to go there.

We met with Dr. Sanjay Reddy, a surgical oncologist. He was amazing. He listened to us. He was in no rush to do surgery and wanted to see if they could get the mass out through a colonoscopy. He also told us that this could be noncancerous, lymphoma, or colon cancer. We would not know without additional samples or the removal of the mass. If it were lymphoma, there’d be no surgery and I’d start chemo right away to shrink it. So it was important to us to know exactly what we were dealing with. We all agreed that if cancer were found, we’d get a PET scan done to confirm it had not spread. The second colonoscopy was not successful in removing the mass but they did get some solid samples. It was confirmed to be colon cancer. The news was not as traumatic this time. Either it was because I’d been there and done that, or Dr. Reddy just made me feel at ease. He was calm and not worried, with so much experience and success. It is important to have a doctor that you trust and I found this in him. He didn’t feel that insurance would cover the PET scan since it was colon cancer. We insisted on getting this test because of all the good things we’d heard about it.

Fortunately, insurance did cover the scan. The Monday before my surgery, I went in for the PET scan. By the time I got home from the hospital, Dr. Reddy was already on the phone with the results. It wasn’t what I expected to hear. The cancer had spread to my liver. Stage IV! He was as surprised to find this out as I was. I didn’t know what to say or do. I think I asked some unrelated questions to the news and ended the call.

My wife was working from home that afternoon and I had to again be the bearer of bad news. Again, we sat and cried. My death sentence was back. I felt beyond defeated now. In this moment, I was giving up on making it through this. Would I end up like Dar? Is this worth the fight? Why didn’t I ask more important questions when I had my doctor on the phone? Why me? These thoughts didn’t last long though. I really didn’t want to tell anyone else how bad things were. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else with the news. I felt beyond guilty.

That evening I stood alone out back in the rain. I was living in that moment. I was taking in my thoughts, the feeling of the rain hitting me, and I decided this wasn’t it for me. I was going to fight for my wife, my kids, my mom, my family, my friends but most importantly, for me.

Surgery went perfect. Dr. Reddy removed all the cancer. Prior to the surgery we filled the kids in on what was happening to Dad. Wow, talk about the hardest thing I have ever done, however, it did feel like a weight had been lifted since we had essentially been lying to them for close to two months. They are two strong kids and really rose to the challenges that came during the following months.

Recovery took close to two months. I immediately started chemo treatments to ensure they got every bit of cancer that they couldn’t see. I received 12 rounds of treatment in total. It was tougher than I ever expected. It tested my family and me. I tried to miss very little work; I didn’t want cancer to define me and take away the norm. Ha, that’s a joke because it kicked my ass (pun intended). I felt horrible for about 9-10 days post treatment. My bowels were all over the place. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I had some accidents in my sleep. If you’ve experienced this yourself, you’re not alone. It happens and there isn’t anything you can do about it. My energy was nil. I would get bad neuropathy when exposed to cold on my hands, feet, mouth, and throat. I went from eating healthy to eating foods that I had avoided for the past few years. “Bad” foods were the only thing that didn’t run right through me. I broke out in rashes all over that were barely under control throughout the treatment.

How did I get through it? My wife was such a supporter. I’m ashamed to say it, but I didn’t treat her so great at times. It was like I was someone else living in my body. I would hear myself and think, “Why did I just say that?” Still, she stuck through it with me. I found out later that the meds for my rash could cause mood swings. I wish I had known that sooner. Dee worked long hours to make up time for going to my treatments and appointments. She managed the household chores when I was useless. She took care of me after surgery and became my at-home nurse for close to eight months. I never would have gotten through this without her, as well as the support of my family and friends.

Aside from the occasional mood swings, my attitude remained positive throughout the process. If I started to feel down, I’d think positive thoughts to get back on track: “I got out of bed on my own today,” “I only have ‘X’ number of treatments/months to go,” “I have an amazing wife and kids,” “I have a supportive job and coworkers,” “I am alive,” anything to get me back on track. Dwelling on the negative would have done nothing good for me and my rational side was back to remind me of this.

I am now done with treatment and my first CAT scan came back cancer free. I had another one in March. I am still experiencing constant neuropathy in my hands and feet, but I am told, with meds, it should go away with time. I don’t know if I have a year to live for 50. None of us do. I am living in the moment as much as I can. I know the reality of the disease firsthand from Dar. It could come back and I must be ready for that. I may never truly be at peace with being cancer free.

My advice to anyone reading this: if something doesn’t feel right, go get checked. You know your body and what is normal. I didn’t have the typical symptoms. No one expected me to have stage IV colon cancer. Had I ignored the pain, I may not be sharing my story with you now. The “typical” age for colon cancer is getting lower as the years go on. I recently met with six others that were impacted by this disease. Five of them, and myself, were under 42 when they or their family member were diagnosed. One of them lost her daughter at 21 years old. You shouldn’t assume that it couldn’t happen to you just because you are under 50 years old. Talk to your family members that have had a colonoscopy. Did they find polyps? If so, go see your doctor because you are at a higher risk for this disease. I found out that my mother had polyps removed years before my diagnosis. Also getting the second opinion was one of the most empowering moments for my family and me. I felt like I was taking back a little control when things were moving so fast.

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