Faces of Blue: Rachel Allen

On May 6, 2012, I woke up with a horrible pain in my stomach and could not stop vomiting. The pain was unlike anything I have ever felt, finally I decided to call the ambulance. After every scan, test, and blood draw imaginable, the ER doctor came in and said, “Well, it’s colon cancer.” Those words hit me like a truck. I didn’t know what to think or what to feel. I was utterly shocked and numb. I was 28-years-old, with no family history and no recognizable symptoms.

I was transferred to a larger hospital and went into immediate surgery and woke up the next morning in the ICU on a ventilator. As I spent my days trapped in my mind, there was one song playing on repeat. It’s an old song called, “The Anchor Holds.” The lyrics got me through those days. I knew that although my body was battered, my God was holding me strong. He gave me the strength to face each new day and to heal. He gave my husband strength to carry me through the pain. He gave my kids the strength to fight for me.

After four days in the ICU, the surgeon decided that I was ready to breathe on my own. I give credit fully to God and my amazing team of doctors and nurses. I had so much support from my husband, my family, and my church. My husband never left the hospital, and was in my room every second the nurses would allow. After four days, I was taken off of the ventilator and transferred to a regular room on the cancer floor. Through this whole journey I have been surrounded by prayer warriors. It is truly humbling to see that power of God’s love through those prayers. Eventually, I went back home to my family. I was thinner, weaker, but I was HOME. One of my favorite memories through all of that was my son asking me if I was still as big as I was when I was a grown up. My children’s love and support was an amazing remedy for my cancer as well. I am so grateful that God answered that prayer and has continued to allow me to watch them grow!

About a month after my D-Day, I went for a follow-up with my surgeon, and he referred me to an oncologist. That day, I went for an MRI, while there was no cancer in my lymph nodes, there was a small spot on my liver that would need a biopsy. I then went for a PET scan a few days later which showed that was the only spot. I was recommended the Nano-knife procedure to eradicate the tumor on my liver. Meanwhile, I had a port placed and began chemotherapy. I was told that I would have weekly chemo for three years along with weekly bloodwork and quarterly scans. Everyone told me not to look at the statistics because they did not apply to me.

I remained in weekly chemo for three years, and have slowly tapered to monthly treatments. Before my last scan, we had the discussion that I would likely be on chemo indefinitely because there is just not enough research on cases like mine to know what may happen if I stop treatment, I was so confused emotionally. No one knows why I developed cancer and yet, I developed stage IV cancer at only twenty-eight-years old. Recently, I met with my oncologist again, and he said we would consider stopping treatment after another six months of monthly treatment.

Overall, cancer has been quite a roller coaster. I had success with surgery, went home, and then went back into the hospital. The Nano-knife killed my tumor, but I had a heart attack during the procedure. I got back to work after about three months, only to have another surgery a month later due to adhesions from my first surgery. I was NED on December 18, 2012, and have stayed clear since that time.

I have ups and downs with every scan and change to the treatment plan. I don’t know that there will ever be a day that I don’t fear a recurrence. But I have HOPE, which I think is the most important ingredient in surviving cancer. I will always continue to hope that it will never come back, that my kids will be free from cancer, and that I can do something to change policies to get everyone the testing and treatment that they may need. I will continue to fight to raise awareness, especially in the younger population. I will fight for myself, for my friends I have made in the colon cancer community, and for my children. I always try to have a positive attitude and spread joy and hope to everyone I see who is facing cancer. I hope that my children will not have to live in fear, because they will see the strength and faith that I have and know they can face anything. If mommy can beat cancer, they can do anything. That is my hope and my goal. I will not let my cancer experience be a negative one. I will use this experience to make a difference.

When I was first diagnosed, I read so many things, but the one that stuck out the most is don’t waste your cancer. Cancer sucks! But if you have to deal with it, don’t waste it. Use your experience to make the future brighter. Use your cancer to reach out to the unreachable. Use it to spread joy. Use it to spread faith. Don’t let cancer get you down or make you think you are weak, because you’re not. Even on the worst days you are strong because of how hard your body is fighting. Nothing compares to the strength it takes to fight off this horrible disease and keep surviving. Every step you take through the pain is building strength. Don’t let cancer steal your joy! Keep fighting and keep inspiring others to fight as well!

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