Faces of Blue: Billie Jo Weiss

Editor’s Note: We were saddened to learn of Billie Jo’s passing to colorectal cancer in May 2021 after a 14 year journey with the disease. We will miss her smile at Get Your Rear in Gear – Boston. 

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Southern California in 2007. My family had rented a beach house for the week so we could just have some time away to rest and relax in the surf. I started noticing some sharp pains in my abdomen. Nothing to run to the ER about but definitely something to make me pause and notice. We were due to head back home in a day or two, so I sent an email to my primary care physician to get checked out when I got home. She responded right away and scheduled a colonoscopy for me. I don’t think any of us will ever completely understand what caused her to schedule the procedure, but we are so thankful she did.

I was 41-years-old and a proud mama to two beautiful girls. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom and spend time with my girls, scheduling play dates, hanging out at the park and enjoying seeing the world anew through their eyes. No one was overly concerned about the upcoming colonoscopy. The pain could have been from any number of relatively benign things. We never even considered it could be cancer. But two weeks after my oldest daughter started kindergarten, my husband and I were anxiously awaiting pathology results and speaking with surgical oncologists. I was diagnosed with stage III colon cancer and needed to have surgery right away.

Thus began my nine ­year (and counting) journey with this dreaded disease. I have had two cancer surgeries, at least two hernia repairs as a result of cutting through my abdominal wall to reach the cancer, six weeks of radiation, and almost 70 chemotherapy infusions. It’s been a long road with many bumps along the way. I have learned to stand up for myself and be my own advocate and to believe in myself and my recovery when trusted medical professionals did not. In 2013, I received a stage IV terminal diagnosis. My doctors have told me that surgery is no longer an option and that I will be on and off chemo for the rest of my life.

At that point I decided I could either lay in bed and wait for the end or I could make the most of the opportunity and life I have been given. I started volunteering with other cancer patients and sharing my story with all who would listen. When I have bad days, I rest; when I have good days, I try to stay active by volunteering at my daughters’ schools, with Girl Scouts and at the hospital. I try to feed my body and soul by working out when I’m able, eating healthy and spending time with friends and family. Do I fall off the wagon now and again? Absolutely! But my doctors have assured me that life is for the living and a juicy steak with a glass of red wine or an ice cream sundae once in a while will not hurt me.

As I sit and reflect on the future, my biggest concern is not about dying, it’s about my family and friends. My timing has never been that great. I am a procrastinator by nature. My girls are growing up quickly, becoming a teenager and a preteen before my eyes. This is such an exciting time for them. A time to test boundaries, become more independent and shape the young women they will become. It’s unfortunate that our family is dealing with a cancer diagnosis at the same time. I am trying to give them the freedom they need to grow while still wanting to hold them close. There is so much I want to teach them, so much I want them to know about life. I want to protect them and keep them from getting hurt. I want them to know every happiness. I know that’s not possible. I know that one day I will be gone and they will have to persevere. I hope that somehow I have been a strong role model and that they will always know they are beautiful, intelligent, capable, graceful and kind. Their father was my true soul mate, my best friend. He and I love them unconditionally and believe in them always.

I will continue fighting this disease until the Lord takes me home. I will stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and offer hope and love wherever I can. There is never an obstacle that cannot be overcome. Celebrate each and every day and every milestone, no matter how small. Don’t assume others know how you feel about them. Shout from the rooftops. To my family and friends, remember to keep finding your joy. Know you are loved beyond measure and I cherish each and every minute with you. And finally to Ava and Fallon, remember one of my favorite songs by Lee Ann Womack, “I Hope You Dance”: